Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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