Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
