in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
