When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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