I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
