she smelled like a LAN party
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's blow job season.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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