This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
