Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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