some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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