The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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