So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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