I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize