Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
