Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
