Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
