Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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