Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
