If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
