You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
