Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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