i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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