I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
