This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
