Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
