that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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