okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize