So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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