I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
