I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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