Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
