the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
