We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
