Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
