I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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