ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My friends, they love my intelligence
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
