I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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