so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize