I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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