But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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