If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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