Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
