We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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