margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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