he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
