so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
