he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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