I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
