she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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