I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize