The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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