do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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