On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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