Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
