Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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