Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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