Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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