i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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