is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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