my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
