It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
