help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize