I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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