Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
