I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
