My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
