Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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