I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
