A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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