she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
