Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
