So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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